Suzi Investigates |
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Suzi Investigates |
 Aug 16 2011, 09:25 AM
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#1
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Advanced Member  Group: Members Posts: 2,375 Joined: 11-February 09 From: here. Member No.: 18  |
A new forum service for a new forum. Need a stone turned over. A can of worms opened. A sleeping Dog stood up. Suzi's you er... woman. She investigates...
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Aug 16 2011, 12:32 PM
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#2
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 396 Joined: 15-February 09 From: Canada Member No.: 54 |
Thank you for the kind introduction Mr. Tein.... my services are in high demand but I work pro-bono for all APE members. As for the general public; I charge steeply. My quality service demands I charge top $$$$.
Currently, I have been retained by one of our newest posters; Pregnancy_Symptoms to find her lost cat, Mr. Pookydoofus. Her children are very upset and they would like me to help them out. How could I refuse; just don't tell them I don't like cats, please (IMG:style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif) If they had followed municipal by-laws and kept their cat indoors as they should, it wouldn't be lost now, would it ??? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/huh.gif) But that's not the point .... investigating is. It's a small case but oh so important (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) I will work on getting my shingle up. My shingle designer is quite smart but lazy; when he wakes up at the crack of noon I'll get him straight on it . Suzi.... Gumshoe (IMG:style_emoticons/default/cool.gif) |
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Aug 16 2011, 02:17 PM
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#3
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 352 Joined: 11-February 09 Member No.: 15 |
Pro-bono? Didn't know you wuz a U2 fan also Soozie...
But seriously, something has been bothering me for a long time, and maybe you can help: Who put the bomp in the bomp, bomp, bomp? |
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Aug 16 2011, 02:25 PM
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#4
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 471 Joined: 12-February 09 From: Pervginia Member No.: 33 |
Lord, not to mention the shammalamadingdong.
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Aug 16 2011, 02:56 PM
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#5
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 824 Joined: 12-February 09 From: England Member No.: 35 |
QUOTE (Suzi @ Aug 16 2011, 01:32 PM)  Thank you for the kind introduction Mr. Tein.... my services are in high demand but I work pro-bono for all APE members. Then shouldn't it be pro-Bongo? (I'll get me coat.) |
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Aug 16 2011, 02:59 PM
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#6
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 824 Joined: 12-February 09 From: England Member No.: 35 |
While we're on the subject:
Suzi, Where did they go, all the good times And the flowers and the wine The young men who held me All the lovers who were mine? Where did they go, all the sweet years Filled with laughter ev'ry day When time went on forever? Oh, when did they slip away? |
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Aug 16 2011, 04:20 PM
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#7
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 396 Joined: 15-February 09 From: Canada Member No.: 54 |
QUOTE (Blushift @ Aug 16 2011, 10:17 AM) Pro-bono? Didn't know you wuz a U2 fan also Soozie... But seriously, something has been bothering me for a long time, and maybe you can help: Who put the bomp in the bomp, bomp, bomp? It seems that after a small but thorough investigation, a songwriting duo named Barry Mann and Gerry Goffin put all that bomp in. But my buddy Vinnie says its really got a hidden meaning and has something to do with sex (IMG:style_emoticons/default/huh.gif) Bono has retained my services in the past. I do criminal checks on his touring entourage.... he has a big ego and I charge more for that (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) |
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Aug 16 2011, 04:32 PM
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#8
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 396 Joined: 15-February 09 From: Canada Member No.: 54 |
QUOTE (spidermage @ Aug 16 2011, 10:59 AM) While we're on the subject: Suzi, Where did they go, all the good times And the flowers and the wine The young men who held me All the lovers who were mine? Where did they go, all the sweet years Filled with laughter ev'ry day When time went on forever? Oh, when did they slip away? You want me to investigate this? I did say no job too small didn't I (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) I'm on my lunch Spidey... and I'm trying to get my lazy designer sorted. I don't know about him but he does help me to some extent with some of the more tedious foot work in my job. We met in the hospital many years ago; a very nice nurse introduced us. I should have know there was something suspicious about him them. He wore a silly little blue hat, sucked his thumb and had his eyes closed. Even worse? Incontinent (IMG:style_emoticons/default/angry.gif) And the infantile behaviour was too much. But we've stuck together and he's become indispensable in my job. He's still lazy though. I've been out all morning putting up lost cat posters around town. Mr. Pookydoofus is a hard cat to track down. If any of you see him; please call me asap. He's black and white. |
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Aug 16 2011, 05:25 PM
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#9
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 833 Joined: 6-May 09 From: The map's upside down, I tell you! Member No.: 183 |
QUOTE (spidermage @ Aug 16 2011, 03:56 PM) Then shouldn't it be pro-Bongo? (I'll get me coat.) Or pro-bonobo? |
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Aug 16 2011, 06:34 PM
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#10
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 1,109 Joined: 16-February 09 From: Somewhere...out there. Member No.: 61 |
Pro-Sonny Bono?
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Aug 16 2011, 06:36 PM
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#11
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 1,109 Joined: 16-February 09 From: Somewhere...out there. Member No.: 61 |
Two other cases that need to be solved:
1. Where does the hobo go when it snows? 2. Where are the snows of yesteryear? Wait, maybe spidermage already asked that one. |
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Aug 16 2011, 07:29 PM
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#12
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 2,375 Joined: 11-February 09 From: here. Member No.: 18 |
Who is the worlds tallest Dwarf.
Why is it there is not doubt which is the largest natural harbour in the world and which is the thord largest but lots of places are vying for second place????? What is a Ding-a-ling-a-ling? Is this the way to amerillo? |
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Aug 17 2011, 07:14 AM
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#13
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 824 Joined: 12-February 09 From: England Member No.: 35 |
QUOTE (Suzi @ Aug 16 2011, 05:32 PM) You want me to investigate this? I did say no job too small didn't I (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) Okay here's an easier one: why are all squirrels the same size? |
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Aug 17 2011, 07:50 AM
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#14
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 2,375 Joined: 11-February 09 From: here. Member No.: 18 |
Before it gets asked I have seen a baby pidgeon - it was in canterbury
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Aug 17 2011, 12:33 PM
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#15
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 396 Joined: 15-February 09 From: Canada Member No.: 54 |
QUOTE (simpleton01 @ Aug 16 2011, 02:36 PM) Two other cases that need to be solved: 1. Where does the hobo go when it snows? 2. Where are the snows of yesteryear? Wait, maybe spidermage already asked that one. Glad to help you, Simp (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) As to your first query, I was just in contact with my good buddy in the field, Bobo the Hobo. According to him, hobo's are a savy bunch. They all hitch a ride via empty train cars that are south-bound and winter in Florida like the rest of us North Americans. For my British friends here, I contacted my English hobo contact Lord Scroungy of Fleet who informed me of basically the same..... they all winter in Ibiza (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) The snows of yesteryear.... ah, remember them well but not fondly (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) As far as I'm concerned? They can just stay in yesteryear. Sorry Simp... that wasn't very good invesigative work but you ain't paying for this service either (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) |
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Aug 17 2011, 12:50 PM
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#16
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 2,375 Joined: 11-February 09 From: here. Member No.: 18 |
QUOTE (Suzi @ Aug 17 2011, 01:33 PM) Glad to help you, Simp (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) As to your first query, I was just in contact with my good buddy in the field, Bobo the Hobo. According to him, hobo's are a savy bunch. They all hitch a ride via empty train cars that are south-bound and winter in Florida like the rest of us North Americans. For my British friends here, I contacted my English hobo contact Lord Scroungy of Fleet who informed me of basically the same..... they all winter in Ibiza (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) The snows of yesteryear.... ah, remember them well but not fondly (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) As far as I'm concerned? They can just stay in yesteryear. Sorry Simp... that wasn't very good invesigative work but you ain't paying for this service either (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) Fleet? Thats a servi e station on the M3 between Southampton and london. It has a Lord? |
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Aug 17 2011, 01:10 PM
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#17
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 396 Joined: 15-February 09 From: Canada Member No.: 54 |
QUOTE (Mr Tein @ Aug 16 2011, 03:29 PM) Who is the worlds tallest Dwarf. Why is it there is not doubt which is the largest natural harbour in the world and which is the thord largest but lots of places are vying for second place????? What is a Ding-a-ling-a-ling? Is this the way to amerillo? According to my sources.... Humans who range within height from 2 to 4 feet (5.08-10.16 cm) are unanimously classified as dwarfs. So, anybody who is 4 foot exactly, is the tallest dwarf... so I'm guessing there are a few of them (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) ********* What is a Ding-a-ling-a-ling? After some research (which kept me up burning the midnight oil) I found several answers to this question. Of which are: 1) A person who has the IQ of a box of rocks. 2) A very large bell; and for whom it tolls. 3) An extra long shlong..... of which is proudly coped to by most (untruthful) men (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) ******** Your query about the 2nd largest harbour and way to amerillo will have to wait. There are only so many hours in the day I have to do this most important service and I can only multi task so much. |
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Aug 17 2011, 01:31 PM
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#18
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 396 Joined: 15-February 09 From: Canada Member No.: 54 |
QUOTE (spidermage @ Aug 17 2011, 03:14 AM) Okay here's an easier one: why are all squirrels the same size? Unfortunately, it wasn't that I couldn't investigate your first query, spiderslim. It was just that you asked the wrong person. I can advice you, however, to contact my relationship expert/psychologist friend. I stay away from answering hard questions that involve affairs of the heart (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) But, as to your query about squirrels? Eddie the Entomologist; my source at the local zoo had some very interesting information for me about this and I quote... "It's because they're little inbred *$%&@*?#&# rodents, that's why" (IMG:style_emoticons/default/angry.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif) |
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Aug 17 2011, 03:32 PM
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#19
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 249 Joined: 12-February 09 From: Alberta, Canada Member No.: 25 |
My young cousin Travis asks:
Why Does It Always Rain on Me? I've told him to buy an umbrella, but you may have even better advice..... As well, I wonder, wonder who Bah doo doo, who (thump) Who wrote the book of love? Tell me, tell me, tell me Oh, who wrote the book of love? I've got to know the answer Was it someone from above? |
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Aug 17 2011, 04:24 PM
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#20
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Advanced Member Group: Members Posts: 1,109 Joined: 16-February 09 From: Somewhere...out there. Member No.: 61 |
May I ask a follow-up question? Thank you. According to Magnetic Fields, the Book of Love is long and boring. No one can lift the damn thing. It's full of charts and facts and figures. And instructions for dancing.
Is that really true? |
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| Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 25th May 2013 - 08:24 AM |
